3 Things To Do When Feeling Disconnected In Your Relationship

When you sense emotional distance between you and your partner, it can be a distressing and even worrying as time passes and you wonder whether it could be more than just a temporary rough patch. The reality is that all couples go through periods of emotional—and physical—disconnect. It doesn’t have to be the end. In fact, it could be the start of a new beginning for both of you where you grow stronger and closer.

Schedule quality time—instant connection. The natural (and obvious) solution to feeling disconnected from your partner is to make it a point to reconnect. This might have to be done in a purposeful—and scheduled—manner, particularly if both of you have been spending more time apart lately. So, don’t put it off and agree on a time and place. A great idea is to plan a leisure activity that you can do together; something fun, carefree, and maybe a little different from the outings or dates you typically go on. Don’t get discouraged—or take it personally—if your partner is initially lacking in enthusiasm. This tip will be an excellent icebreaker for the two of you to catch up. Once you’re both out and enjoying time together, you can address the next tip, which is:

Don’t be afraid to talk about it, but choose the timing wisely. If you approach your partner at a random moment—after work, when he or she is scrolling through their phone, at dinnertime—and you mention your feelings and concerns, he or she may not necessarily respond with the openness that you want or the willingness to sit and hash things that you expect. Consider talking about your concerns when you and your partner are out and involved in your scheduled leisure time. You’ll both have a more positive and open mindset plus you’ll be in the connecting process, which will serve as a reminder that it’s been a while since both of you have truly spent quality time together.

Consider if it’s not the relationship, but instead, individual issues. You might be able to recall instances in your life when you’ve gone through a particularly tough time. Stressors in your life might have caused you to take a lot of your frustrations and emotions out on your partner. After all, your partner is the person you spend a lot of your time with; therefore, he or she will sometimes inevitably be at the receiving end of bad moods, irritability, despair, or anger.  This circumstance can certainly lead to feeling disconnected, but it’s important to identify if the core issue lies not in a problem between the two of you in terms of your relationship, but instead, challenges that you (or your partner) are going through as an individual that are affecting your ability to connect.

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