Loss and Grief Therapy
Loss and Grief Therapy
When you experience a loss, you are knocked off balance. You grieve not only the loss but also all of your future plans and hopes. At first, you are in a state of shock and may be paralyzed by fear, unwilling to accept what is happening. It is difficult to force yourself to move, think, feel, speak.
Grief is not limited to the loss of a loved one; you might be grieving the loss of a job, a relationship, a pet, a project, or the loss of something very important to you. You start asking questions like:
“Will I ever be happy after this?”
“How will I survive this?”
“How long will it hurt?”
These are all valid and important questions.
People experience loss and grief in their own way. There is no single recipe for healing grief.
We all know that change is inevitable. However, loss and grief represent change in the most painful form.
The experience of loss and grief, and the grieving process that stays with you long after, is one of the greatest difficulties and can be one of the most significant stressors that you’ll ever go through. Loss brings feelings of shock, confusion, and despair. Whether your loss came about suddenly or you’ve had some time to prepare, it is equally difficult and stressful. It takes away all sense of stability and structure, transforming every aspect of your life.
When you lose someone or something that was central and meaningful to your life, you are left with the overwhelming task of somehow finding a way to accept what happened and continue on — to resume your life despite that significant piece being gone. You are left with memories of the past, or of the person you lost, which can be both comforting and distressing.
After a loss occurs, you feel fully stripped away in every sense. This is not only due to the actual job loss or relationship that is no more or the loved one or pet who has passed on, but also because of the lack of meaning, purpose, and direction you suddenly feel. Loss and grief stop you completely in your tracks, leaving you intermittently devastated and then numbed, and you question your own ability to endure it all.
While grief feels like a price we pay for our love and devotion to someone or something, grieving can be an opportunity for growth. However, depending on the significance of your loss, sometimes grief can be delayed, interrupted, or otherwise derailed.
You can tell that you might not be grieving in a healthy or natural way if you find that you:
tend to avoid emotions or thoughts associated with the loss
are using negative or unhealthy coping skills to get you through this time
lack supportive people in your life
feel overwhelmed because you also have other stressors going on in your life.
A desire to ignore the pain, forget what happened, “remain strong,” or “move on,” are often normal responses when the loss and grief are too painful and difficult to bear.
For these reasons, therapy can help guide you to make that transition from the heartache, hopelessness, denial, and fear caused by loss to expressing and processing those emotions in a healthy way. Processing grief and loss with the guidance of a therapist can help you discover a renewed life purpose, a greater meaning for your struggles, and set you on a healing path of hope.
Feeling the many emotions caused by loss and grief is how the pain gradually diminishes; it is how we heal.
The idea that grieving means you’re healing might not any make sense. The truth is that you don’t get immediate relief from grieving. Think of grief as having a sort of delayed response—it’s working behind the scenes to strengthen you, even though you might not realize it at first. Grieving allows you to witness the magic of your own resilience because your inner strength unfolds through pain and adversity.
As you progress through loss and grief, the thoughts and memories that once caused you that feeling of emptiness, worry, stress, or emotional pain will become life lessons that will comfort you and give you the strength to cope. Loss and grief also help you to recognize what your priorities are in life. You realize what is truly important and what is really of most value to you. Losing your job may remind you of all the times you complained about your co-workers or dreaded the sound of your early morning alarm. It can provide you with greater gratitude and increase the joy and enthusiasm you feel in everything you do. The loss of a relationship, a loved one, or a pet is a reminder of how money, material possessions, and all the other things we stress about daily — or prioritize too much — are really so meaningless in the face of not having those we care about with us. Loss and grief can strengthen your existing relationships and transform the way you treat and interact with loved ones and all the important people in your life.
There can be meaning in loss and grief.
While all human beings must suffer loss and grief at some point—after all, it is an experience we all share in common — you likely feel very alone in your pain. If you are fortunate to have supportive loved ones around you, this can help and make the loss a bit more bearable. However, even the most well-intentioned family members and friends may either be struggling with their own grieving or may not have the insight or knowledge to really be there for you. In fact, misinformation, myths, and misleading feedback can sometimes make the grief process harder on you.
Therapy for grief and loss goes at your pace, meets you where you are in your grieving, and proceeds at your level of comfort. There are no requirements, timelines, or duties you must fulfill to “properly” grieve — everyone is different when it comes to their response to grief and their therapy needs. I will support you and help you express and process your feelings and experience of grief and loss. I can help you better cope with the sadness, anger, hopelessness, or lack of acceptance.
When it comes to grief and loss, the help that therapy provides can make a significant difference in grieving and the healing process. Please contact me today and allow me to guide and support you through this time. Whether you’ve recently suffered a loss, or you’ve been living with grief for months or even years, know that I am available to help you cope.
