How Parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder Affect Mental Health in Children

For many children, childhood is a time of wonder, play, and discovery. These children have parents who give them the safety and security to explore the world around them and grow to reach their full potential. 

But some children have one or more parents who lack the right skills or behavior to allow their children to feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved. Those children who are raised by someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often experience prolonged trauma, and the effects of this trauma can linger into adulthood.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

When we hear the word narcissist, we often think of certain politicians or celebrities who are known for their boastful and arrogant behavior. And while these traits are definitely annoying, narcissism is far more complex and destructive to those in the relationship with the person with NPD, particularly children.

The main characteristics of narcissism are a lack of empathy and the inability to recognize the emotional needs of others. Parents with NPD also tend to view their offspring as competition while simultaneously denying them independent personhood. 

Some other key characteristics of parents with NPD include:

  • Codependency

  • Inflexible

  • Liars

  • Manipulators

  • Superficial

  • Self-involved

  • Superior

How Does a Parent with NPD Affect a Child’s Mental Health?

The following are some common ways kids, and adult children of parents with NPD, feel about themselves and life in general:

Low Self-Worth

You grow up feeling unseen and unheard. Your emotional needs never really mattered.

Codependency

Parents with NPD make sure it’s ALWAYS about them. Children grow up feeling 100% responsible for making sure their parent’s needs (financial, emotional, and otherwise) are taken care of. They do not learn how to form healthy boundaries, only how to please others.

Crippling Self-Doubt

Parents with NPD engage in lying and manipulation. They will “gaslight” their children into believing a false reality. As a result, children grow up with crippling self-doubt, never believing they can trust their own feelings.

If you believe one or both of your parents struggle with NPD and you are suffering from any of these aftereffects, you CAN heal.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

RESOURCES:

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